Week-long Rollercoaster Ride

Some people absolutely love roller coasters. It’s the adrenaline, the speed, loops, twists and turns, causing your body to experience more than just the mental. For example, the feeling of your stomach doing all types of weird things to both nauseate and cause anxiety all at the same time. Or, your size could be just at the minimum to be able to ride, and on those drops and turns, it feels, even with the latching bar, that it’s not as close to you as you feel it should be, and so it feels as though you’re going to fall out at any second, plummeting to your death…

Okay, so it’s not that bad, though I have often envisioned when riding the Cyclone that very thing happening. Though amusement parks are a huge deal to most, I’m not big on the large crowds of people and the lengthy lines, not to mention the obscene costs! It’s just a very stressful situation for me and takes days for me to recover.

My kids though love amusement parks. It’s a trait they definitely received from their father. I like to go for the exercising, but I can really do without the crowds and lines, and could definitely deal with cleaner restrooms (I do admit it would probably require an individual for each bathroom to be certain it remains clean), and more shady areas to sit. Because let’s face it, heat is no friend to MS, and humidity is no friend to my lesions.

I’m more for the outdoors. Especially trails or anything really near woods/forestry, lakes, or whatever. I’m more about peacefulness, calmness, and a oneness with Him and all He has created, the beauty of it all.

This week has been a rollercoaster. It’s been all over the place, and I have literally felt every up, down, twist, turn, and loopty-loop. I have felt every possible emotion, I’ve felt it in every fiber and neuron in my being. Then I think it’s Friday, great! The weekend will be chill, I can rest up and then on Monday start fresh.

But then I remember, not only do I have no income, steady or otherwise, to look forward, but summer vacation for the children begins. The first really affects the second, a bit, but it could be worse. The latter could happen with no money, as long as I have the ability to drive… So even through the weekend I will have many things weighing on my mind and will carry over until I have learned the lesson He is working to educate me on.

As I sit and type, I take breaks after every couple of thoughts to continue on reflection of the past week and why it was the way it was. And then I’m sure everyone has felt that moment of ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! when something you’ve been searching for is right there in front of you?

Yes. I had that moment.

Distractions. Searching for earthly approval, desires and stresses.

Yeah, productivity has been fairly good, but not in the right areas of my life.

At least some are in the right areas, but there could definitely be more, such as Him better along with my time spent getting to known nutrition and fitness.

And I could put a lot more love into anything I do and a lot less me.



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