Music to help get through

This song has helped me to get through some dark times. It may not be a Christian song, but I listen to it as His words to me. Reverie

Sometimes the house isn’t clean. Sometimes my children just take their belongings off and leave them where they were removed. Sometimes floors don’t get swept as regularly as they should, and for some reason it takes forever for anything to happen with the clean or dirty dishes. I sometimes think there’s the belief of a dishwashing fairy who miraculously appears from the midst of fairytopia.

Sometimes my immune system just chooses today is not the day.

Other times it allows me to accomplish tasks. Even if it’s just something simple like being able to shower.

And that, along with the reminder of the words in this song, help to remember that it’s okay.

Remember, someone is fighting something you know nothing about. Always be kind.

~J

And the paperwork begins

I have been out of work since the end of this past March on medical leave. Doctor’s appt’s, paperwork, telephone calls; and then the waiting.

It’s been said that most companies will almost always deny at first, provided everything has been submitted that was requested, and done so properly.

Unfortunately, in one of those packets of information, I was misinformed about which dates to put where, causing me to be denied. I think I should try to appeal the decision due to the misinformation, but I’m not too certain whether they’ll even allow it.

It stinks. I am trying to remain faithful in believing He has a bigger plan in store for me. In the interim, I am trying to think of things I enjoy that I could possibly earn money with or by doing since I haven’t had income since very early April. I’m receiving shut-off notices, late notices, the frustration of the removing the already limited luxuries would feel overwhelming were it not for knowledge of knowing He’s helping me to learn a lesson. I believe this is so He will be able to use me and my experience through this season to help another.

Please pray for me.

I have been feeling so overwhelmed, it’s not only mentally and emotionally taxing, it’s physically exhausting. It’s when I’m sleeping 16-20 hours a day I remember how sick my body truly is. Which is another thing not outwardly evident with my diseases.

Anyhow, just trying to remain positive through it all.

Now…to get back into some form of workout routine so that I can keep these endorphins going. πŸ˜€

Be Blessed.

~J

Simplistic Beauty

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One of my very dear friends stopped down the other morning to take me out for a few hours. It was pleasantly unexpected and was a really good time. When I say good, I mean everything felt just as it should within the world. It was a gorgeous day, there were no real plans, it was an anything goes kind of visit.

So we went. I have been living back in Massachusetts since fall of 1997. Prior to that I had lived in VT since late summer 1989. There is much to say between the two different states, lifestyles, all of it. In Vermont, most of the beauty is right out the window and it costs nothing to be captivated by it. That’s not to say Massachusetts doesn’t have it’s own little nooks of wonder and enjoyment, just that they’re not as easily accessible as walking out your door.

We went to Magic Wings Conservatory. It’s basically a warehouse type building, done up, where a large portion of the building is filled with plants, trees, and all the beautiful butterflies you could envision.

This trip was definitely what was needed. It’s been quite difficult lately for me to be able to stand for any length of time and walking small distances completely exhausts me. It completely helped that my friend wasn’t rushing me either. They were there for me, to see that I was okay and to get me out of the house. Taking me to such a beautiful place I’ve never been before and allowing me to just sit, chat, and take it all, in has done wonders for my soul.

And you know, for the majority of the time we spent together that day, which was about 5-6 hours, I almost completely forgot about the disease of MS hovering over my head. That was definitely a highlight of the day for certain, since it has been reminding me of it’s presence for more time than preferable.

It’s nice sometimes to just be able to hop in your vehicle and just go. No real plans, no real obligations.

Just being able to not adult for a day. It’s truly an amazing thing. πŸ˜€

Be blessed.

~J

 

 

Country Life vs City Life

As of the date of this post, I’m 40 years in age. I have lessons and wisdom from a 15 year relationship and marriage. I have three children, my oldest son, who was an only child for a while, has recently hit the 6 mo mark until his 22nd birthday, my only daughter is recently 16, though she insists not sweet, and my youngest son turned 14 at the beginning of the year, and when you’ve got his attention, it’s fully.

I was on autopilot for many years. I wasn’t as active with my children or the family as we all wanted me to be, it was so difficult when I was sick for so long with no real definitive answers. Beside, we had many different interests, and all of theirs completely wiped me out and mine, how few and far between, I only wanted to relax in the atmosphere and they wanted to get moving.

The children eventually had been brought up to city life compared to country/mountain life making me miss my life and wonder what it would have been like.

And then it hit me.

I am in a comparison trap living in the tent of discontent.

It’s sometimes very necessary to remind ourselves and others we are each unique with our very own set of traits specific to us. Why would our daily circumstances be any different?

It’s a pity it has taken me nearly this long to realize stubbornness is not only hereditary, it becomes worse with each generation.

It takes strength to break a bad cycle or habit, and that strength can’t come from any thing.

It also takes only 28 days to create a habit. Use the same 28 days in ending a bad habit by changing it out in starting a good habit, this way you’re already preoccupied. πŸ™‚

Be aware of your blessings. ❀

~J

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, β€œNever will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5 NIV

So what it’s old? It still works!

I know I’m not the only person who feel they are in the wrong era. I have thought about what it would be like living in certain times throughout history, and the two decades in time of when this house was built is one of them.

One of my favorite parts is how solid things were made. It was a time where you learned to be hands on for the minor things and know when to call a person in the trade for the larger things. If it’s broke, you don’t replace it. You repair it. You used the item until it could no longer be repaired because all which could be done, had been done.

Pride and care was taken in everything one did. From your clothing to how you held yourself and spoke to the care and use of yours and others properties. Your absolute best was given and schools taught economics and how to succeed once you graduated high school because not everyone was going off to college.

It wasn’t encouraged to buy, buy, buy, but instead to save, save, save. People had savings. They had gardens and knew others who grew or harvested whatever they didn’t have. Nearly every household had a rooster, hens, and other necessary items and received them as start up from the government.

Because it was a time when we were taught to be self sufficient.

An example of if it’s not broken, don’t mess with it…

I have a Queen sized bed. I have had this since I was pregnant with my youngest. It is a Simmons BeautyRest and has been through countless moves. We actually had gotten a great deal on it because it was on clearance and my ex had a coworker who allowed us his discount. We actually tried to replace it once, needless to say it only lasted a week and we exchanged sets back with my mom who we had given the other to (which happened to be too firm for her, so it worked out for all involved). It still sleeps brand new, nice and firm, right where it’s needed. πŸ™‚

-J

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
1 Peter 5:8-9 NIV
http://bible.com/111/1pe.5.8-9.NIV

In the past two years I have been through a lot in many aspects of my life.

I lost my mom to complications from cancer 2 years ago this past week.

While at the same time being let go from a job I was pushed into.

I was living in a 2bdrm <600sqft apt with my 3 kids. Boys had one room, daughter had her own, and I had the sofa.

The kitchen was about an 8 x 8 square and there was no real room to eat together anywhere, but we made due and were very blessed.

After a while it seems like I had become distracted somehow. I think I may have gotten real ill, but regardless, I wasn’t listening to Him for guidance and made what seems one bad choice after another.

In the next year, which was this last year, I had a surgery and was let go from a job for differences in morals, not in that order. I was on steroids, pain killers, (I dislike prescriptions, I feel the side effects are worse than the symptoms), and bed rest meaning no movement.

My previous job was a hands on, manual labor type thing, which I loved, so this was difficult for me. I was paying attention to my nutrition, but the lack of activity didn’t help.

I was becoming frustrated and am an emotional eater. I gained 20 lbs in this time, but once I was able to get to and moving again, lost 10 of it.

And then I accepted a desk job because of the hours while still being accessible and able to spend time with my kids. With it came another 30 lbs, (again, emotional eater), which didn’t help the health symptoms I was dealing with.

It’s been difficult to deal with my nutrition from bed. I can order groceries online and have them delivered. The issue is the medicine I was prescribed knocks me out for hours on end, and once I do wake up I’m up for maybe an hour or two at most, and which usually happened when either no one is around or later at night when one shouldn’t have but a light and small snack.

In addition, it hurts to move most of the time. I’ve literally been sitting and sleeping with the heating pad on my back, which has really calmed the arthritis in my lower area. However, because of my lack of nutrition, I’m quite weak and need to rest regularly.

Once I have my inner strength up a bit better and the vertigo isn’t as bad, I can begin doing some yoga videos from my cable provider. Then, once I can arrange up for longer periods of time I can begin taking walks around the neighborhood, with the kids help to have them become involved and work on bonding, memory building, quality time. πŸ™‚

So, back to my Herbalife lifestyle and I am so excited about it! Because I have been on prescriptions I will be ordering a 21-day cleanse in the combo which also includes Florafiber, and Aloe Concentrate (Mango is my favorite so far though to be fair I haven’t tried cranberry yet).

Who would like to join me on this personal challenge? My goal is to lose fat, gain lean muscle, and improve overall strength. Accountability partners help to get goals meet, if not exceeded.

This is actually a great way to involve the kids empathy and understanding, since they’re at ages where they could be helping out in different aspects, and not what is being thrust upon them in every day life. A major learning experience I wish I had been taught when I was younger, especially with all the family tragedies…

Anyhow, enough with PTSD triggers we could discuss another time.

Realize how blessed you are in every thing, it helps to put, and keep, a smile on your face. πŸ™‚

~J

Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , β€œplans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Individual molds

One of my goals in doing this is to remain positive, uplifting, and encouraging. Not because I don’t want to share my struggle, as that is the exact opposite of the reason behind this blog.

Rather it’s because this is about my journey with a positive and healthy outlook on life and all that comes with it.

I am truly blessed. There is no comparison between how I live and cope and another’s path. We are all and each individually, purposely, intentionally and uniquely created to be the design of our own mold.

It’s what the inner most part is comprised of which will determine weathering the test of time and what will remain standing in place.

~J